Confused? You bet I am

One day, there will be a comparison site that compares comparison sites, but until then, we have confused.com. I’m sure there are people out there who genuinely believe that people in adverts can just be plucked off the street but these people are generally those who believe that the boogie man lives under your bed, the Simpsons’ new episodes are still funny and that Heroes is a brilliantly-acted, cleverly written, fantastically-shot piece of original TV drama. I mean, just have a look at this:

First of, if they’re a real family, then I’m an uncle fucker that fucks my uncle all day long. And this kind of forced sincerity is cringe-worthy and the fact that they expect us to believe that people are really that excited about buying car insurance is just fucking ludicrous. Let’s make one thing clear – when you BUY something you are not SAVING anything – SAVING something is putting it the SAVINGS account. It’s like when it says at the bottom of the reciept from the supermarket that you ‘saved’ £4.52. Well, that’s not true because if bottles of Coke weren’t 3 for 2 then I wouldn’t have bought the 3rd one, I’d have probably only bought one. So, really, I’ve not saved anything, I’ve lost an extra £1.22. Granted these comparison sites allow you to choose between different insurance companies and so you can stop yourself buying a more expensive on, but to say that you are ‘saving’ money is one great big fucking lie.

I’m torn between whether this kind of ‘reality’ advertising is just shit or crafty (but still shit). “The little slider thing to change the excess” or “it’s easy” or “it’s so easy” or “it’s really easy” are just a few of the comments that the brilliant script writers have come up with. And what is with that fucking badly-drawn dog going “tada!” in a voice that would make Prince wince? Making the advert all cutesy-wutsey by adding that and a retarded goth-like cunt drawing a smiley face on his palm is noting short of insulting.

Comparison site advertising, I’ve decided, is the biggest paradox since I discovered Coleen Rooney gets paid to do her ‘I’d rather rub shit in my eyes’ TV shows – why does a service that is specifically designed to give the consumer a wider, independent choice of goods and services, try and persuade you to use it’s service? If the idea is to get the consumer the cheapest deal possible, then surely they should say use our comparison site in conjunction with others. Also, it’s seems insurance companies are advertising the fact that they are NOT on these sites (Aviva and DirectLine come to mind). Basically, it’s advertising for advertising’s sake. They’re in effect stealing 25 seconds of your life and spitting it back in your face with added phlem and obese singing spaktards. Fuck ’em.