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First of all, apologies for the absence, but I don’t suppose any of you really care that much.
Have you seen that latest iPod advert for the new Nano? If you see it, press mute as quickly as you can.
Look at it, just look at it!!! Does the Ad agency in charge of Apple’s stomach-churning guff seriously think that people enjoy this sort jumped up High-School-Musical-on-crack garbage? The worse thing about it has to be the forced diversity of the whole thing. “Look, blacks, Chinese, Asians and Caucasians all love the iPod Nano!” Well that maybe so, but you can still have black, Chinese, Asian and Caucasian twats; just make them dance like they’ve had electro-shock therapy, simple.
Ad agencies are so keen to highlight diversity that they end up making the same mistakes all over again. Despite dressing them up in yellow, grey, purple or vomit orange, they still ALL LOOK THE FUCKING SAME. They’re the same kind of “bohemian” cunt you find ‘reading’ a J.G.Ballard book on the train just so they look intelligent, or ordering an expresso in a cafe in Camdem but never drinking it – doesn’t matter what race you are, as long as you’re young, hip and beautiful.
Take this Gillete advert for example. “Millions of men trust Gillette”? The montage of ‘men’ (and for that matter the creepy women coming up behind him) consists only of chiseled, rugged, statuesque adonises of men, the kind that if you saw in a bar with your girlfriend, you’d leave very quickly. I’m sure fat, ugly bald men with more body hair than Martine McCuchon buy Gillette razors too, but Gillette don’t want YOU to know that, do they?
Advertising does what it has to do and clearly beautiful ‘cool’ young people sell more clothes, gadgets and dildos than ugly fat disfigured people do, but to foreshadow one ‘type’ of diversity for ‘another’ is still making the same mistakes. Keeping the Gillette theme, just look at the infamous ‘trio’. Look at the excellence they ooze and the racial diversity of them! Aren’t we all great!? Well, no. One of them is a womanising pervert who can’t keep his cock inside his pants and whose motto appears to be “two’s company, but three’s a fuck load of fun”; the other is a cheating self-righteous ball-bag who had the opportunity to claw back some of football’s integrity but chose a life time of abuse and leprechaun-curses, and other, well, the other is ok for the moment, but given the Gillette curse, he’ll be outed as pedo before too long.
